In this very moment, though it is something that I am working on, I have learned that living in doubt and internalizing other people’s opinions is one of the most detrimental things we can do to ourselves. In fact, it is toxic.
The opinions that others forumlate about other individuals are based on their own unique experiences with that person, or simply it is based on our own insecurities, or even our differences in morals and standards. Speaking about others negatively comes, as a result of pure insecurities and self-doubt. To a certain extent, speaking about others can come from a place of concern, and it does come from good intentions. However, we have all been put on this Earth to formulate our own opinions of people, and it should not solely be based on what others have heard or said. I truly believe that our formulations of others should be based on our own personal experiences with that person. Individuals, such as myself, struggle with the insecurities of seeking self-acceptance from other individuals, especially strangers.
The game “telephone,” an activity that I practiced while attending Montessori school allowed me to realize that while rumors are inevitable, you truly should not invest time letting others perception distort your own personal happiness. If you are unfamiliar with this activity, it involves a group of people, and requires someone to pass on either a phrase, word, or rumor onto the person adjacent to you. You continue this until the second-to-last person passes the message onto the last individual, who is sitting next to the individual, who initiated the message. By the time you have passed on the message onto the third person, the original message has already become distorted. As you can imagine, by the last person, the initial message has become so distorted that there is no semblence to the original message. The message is essentially skewed and completely different from the intial statement, phrase, or word that the original message was. The “telephone game” serves as a constant reminder that the less you listen and invest time towards internalizing the opinions of others, the happier you will be. From personal experience, I truly struggle with this often, though I put on a strong front, but it is nothing you should be ashamed of.
Listen and believe in yourself, which is easier said than done. I can also attest to this. Do not let self-doubt cloud your mind, and while there will be tough days, know that the thoughts of others does not define the person you are.
Continue to believe in yourself. Self-doubt will always be a relevant factor, but know your self-worth, and these words do not define yourself. Trust me, this is one of my biggest struggles and insecurities that I struggle with daily, and it is not a n easy task, but try to keep your head up and do what you love.
A way that I cope with these insecurities is contuining to live my life to my best abilities, contuining to complete my obligations, and learning to be kind on myself. My hardest challenge is realizing that I may be embarrased or make people uncomfortable, but it is important to stear clear of these underlying insecurities. Our circumstances, our upbringings, our experiences, and our behsviots all shape the way that we are able to cope with rumors, or perhaps bullying, or harrassment. Do not let these factors, people, strangers, or any for that matter, stop you from living your life. My best coping mechanism is challenging myself to my best of my ability, and while I personally am dealing with my own challenges related to the article, I continue to put my best effort into investing time enjoying my life, rather than focusing on the judgements that others make about others.
Of course, sometimes I slip up and make impulsive, unhealthy decisions, know that engaging in these activities is not something that should be used as a crutch. You are stronger, wiser, and more powerful than you seem I am guilty as charged for recently coping with habits that I know are not beneficial, and it has even been a challenge for me to take the less road traveled on. It is a process, and we are all human.
“You gravitate towards that which you are, what is inside you attracts similar.”