Life Hack #9 – Kids These Days

Do you ever really truly grow up? You may be wondering what I mean, like, OF COURSE, we grow up as we grow older. What I mean is, do you think you ever actually grow out of your childhood?

Still confused? I mean that I truly believe that parts of your childhood and your childlike behaviors and habits stay with you your entire life. I do not believe that anyone truly loses some of their childness, even at morbid ages.

As I am transitioning into my 20s, I have found that relating to my childhood and engaging in activities I used to enjoy, or do frequently, have become a central interest, or a current hobby. After having what I deemed a quarter-life crisis for about 3 years, I felt a little bit lost and unsure what the concept of “growing up” was, which may sound stupid. I was dealing with the insecurities of not knowing how a grown up acted, did, or behaved. All I knew was that I needed to get a job, start paying for things, become more independent, and party less, emphasis on partying less. I am not going to lie, to me, the idea of growing up slightly irritated me, because it meant that I had less time to do the things that I wanted. But, at the time, I am fairly sure I did not even have enough ideas to fill up my time.

While working full-time and being a full-time student left me to a limited amount of “free time,” even then I wanted to uncover the insecurities behind my quarter-life crisis. The ultimate insecurity behind my quarter-life crisis, which is not quite solved, was not knowing enough about myself to be passionate about, AKA a lack of hobbies. Working and education are great outlets to find your likes and dislikes, but your time cannot be consumed with this, as it will end up being detrimental to your sense of self. While finding the hobbies I truly enjoyed took me years, and I am still figuring it all out, I found that relating to my childhood and what I enjoyed during my childhood to help uncover my hobbies. Instead of killing time with mindless hours of work and school in order to ignore my self-doubt, I began finding out most of my current hobbies were hobbies I kept up as a youth.

Even your interests as a child, or childhood activities you engaged in, play a substantial role in shaping our own current interests. Growing up, I was quite athletic (if I do say so myself), engaging in gymnastics, soccer, karate, aikedo, swim team, tennis, cross country, and yoga. Similarly, my parents emphasized extra curriculars, such as piano, which developed my own passion for the art of music. They also promoted art, which has played a substantial role in my love and envolvement with art-like hobbies, such as crafting, journaling, reading, free-writing and coloring. Finally, growing up with a tech-savvy father, I became very invested in social media and technology, applying his coding techniques to PIMP out my Myspace. When I say PIMPED out, I mean my background for my Myspace was a collage of all my favorite pictures of me and my friends, which took hours of coding. YES, I did play hookey in order to dedicate hours of my life perfecting my social media. My love for fashion came from the technology of YouTube, where I would watch YouTubers do what they called “clothing hauls.” I followed various YouTubers, and while for most of my life fashion was not relevant, I slowly began enjoying the expressionism that fashion allowed. With all these past interests and involvement in these things, I developed hobbies, such as coloring, blogging, photography, and of course, it shaped the reason why I chose my major.

Regardless of hobbies, childhood behaviors and personality traits do stick with you wherever you go, even to your grave. In general I am a pretty outgoing person, but since I was a kid, in a group of new people, I am very quiet and reserved. This is something that I still struggle with. Even as a child, I would use my awkwardness as a sense of humor to try not to be so awkward. This tactic fortunately stuck with my entire life. Similarly, though I do not try to admit it, I AM A NERD AND PERFECTIONIST. Since childhood, I have found myself trying SO hard when it comes to everything in my life, especially when it comes to academics. This has been one of the traits that I still struggle with, as I seem unmotivated sometimes from the anxiety of not being perfect. To everyone’s surprise, my notes are all color-coated, and YES, it does irritate me when I make a mistake when I am writing my notes. Since I was younger, I would rip out the pages of notes, even if it meant that I had to rewrite the notes on the other side of the paper, and begin writing the notes again. This is one of my forcib habits that truly prove not to be time efficient, especially not that I am attending college. Even now though, I find myself scrunching my face whether I make a color-coding mistake, or if I have to cross something out. These things do stick with you, whether you realize it or not.

Enough about me, though.

I truly believe getting in touch with your childhood, and your hobbies, will help develop a handful of ideas for hobbies to help you with your journey of self-discovery. Try to utilize your childness (in this case, childhood behavioral traits, childhood personality traits, and childhood hobbies) to your advantage, as they will always be a part of you. Your childhood shapes the person you are, EVEN TO THE GRAVE, even if you are not asking for it to. Instead of fighting the child in you, channel it towards your present reality, because it may maninfest into something great for you. I would even challenge the idea that you completely change from the person you were as a child, and believe the correct theory is that you develop and evolve from your childlikeness.

Needless to say, relating to my childhood, helped me develop my current pasttimes that were definitely shaped by my childhood interests, and assisted me in realizing that my childlike behavioral and personality traits are something that can still be utilized. In fact, not only am I more satisfied with how I spend my time, I am much more happier about the person that I am and find myself relating the present to my childhood. You can truly uncover a multitude of realizations just from STAYING TRUE TO THE TRUE CHILD IN YOU.

For starters, I still try to enforce nap-time and snack-time in my life, so not much has changed since my birth. Similarly, I do not currently drive and am usually chauffered by either friends, my parents, and strangers from Lyft and Uber, which is equivalent to being driven around by your best friend’s parents who are completely strangers to you. My point is that I never drove as a child and to this day I find myself in the backseat being chauffered around, so truly not much has changed. Last point, as a child, I always wore my hair in half-up buns, half-up ponytails, french braids, fun buns (two buns), pony tails, or buns – THIS STILL IS RELEVANT. I made this discovery recently while my friend was going through my childhood pictures and pointed this out, as I usually wear my hair in one of those styles even to this day. Unconsciously or conconsiously your past does follow you, or maybe it is just the child in you.

Ain’t nobody gunna tell you that you cannot do the monkey bars, or swing on that swing.

Today, I’m thankful for Simple Life’s “I’m Just A Kid” for constantly reminding me that I, Aichan Tewahade, am just a kid (replace “Aichan Tewahade” with your own name, obviously…or don’t).

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

 

Advertisements

Life Hack #8 – Earplugs, Much?

In this very moment, though it is something that I am working on, I have learned that living in doubt and internalizing other people’s opinions is one of the most detrimental things we can do to ourselves. In fact, it is toxic.

The opinions that others forumlate about other individuals are based on their own unique experiences with that person, or simply it is based on our own insecurities, or even our differences in morals and standards. Speaking about others negatively comes, as a result of pure insecurities and self-doubt. To a certain extent, speaking about others can come from a place of concern, and it does come from good intentions. However, we have all been put on this Earth to formulate our own opinions of people, and it should not solely be based on what others have heard or said. I truly believe that our formulations of others should be based on our own personal experiences with that person. Individuals, such as myself, struggle with the insecurities of seeking self-acceptance from other individuals, especially strangers.

The game “telephone,” an activity that I practiced while attending Montessori school allowed me to realize that while rumors are inevitable, you truly should not invest time letting others perception distort your own personal happiness. If you are unfamiliar with this activity, it involves a group of people, and requires someone to pass on either a phrase, word, or rumor onto the person adjacent to you. You continue this until the second-to-last person passes the message onto the last individual, who is sitting next to the individual, who initiated the message. By the time you have passed on the message onto the third person, the original message has already become distorted. As you can imagine, by the last person, the initial message has become so distorted that there is no semblence to the original message.  The message is essentially skewed and completely different from the intial statement, phrase, or word that the original message was. The “telephone game” serves as a constant reminder that the less you listen and invest time towards internalizing the opinions of others, the happier you will be. From personal experience, I truly struggle with this often, though I put on a strong front, but it is nothing you should be ashamed of.

Listen and believe in yourself, which is easier said than done. I can also attest to this. Do not let self-doubt cloud your mind, and while there will be tough days, know that the thoughts of others does not define the person you are.

Continue to believe in yourself. Self-doubt will always be a relevant factor, but know your self-worth, and these words do not define yourself. Trust me, this is one of my biggest struggles and insecurities that I struggle with daily, and it is not a n easy task, but try to keep your head up and do what you love.

A way that I cope with these insecurities is contuining to live my life to my best abilities, contuining to complete my obligations, and learning to be kind on myself. My hardest challenge is realizing that I may be embarrased or make people uncomfortable, but it is important to stear clear of these underlying insecurities. Our circumstances, our upbringings, our experiences, and our behsviots all shape the way that we are able to cope with rumors, or perhaps bullying, or harrassment. Do not let these factors, people, strangers, or any for that matter, stop you from living your life. My best coping mechanism is challenging myself to my best of my ability, and while I personally am dealing with my own challenges related to the article, I continue to put my best effort into investing time enjoying my life, rather than focusing on the judgements that others make about others.

Of course, sometimes I slip up and make impulsive, unhealthy decisions, know that engaging in these activities is not something that should be used as a crutch. You are stronger, wiser, and more powerful than you seem I am guilty as charged for recently coping with habits that I know are not beneficial, and it has even been a challenge for me to take the less road traveled on. It is a process, and we are all human.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

Life Hack #7 – What’s The Rush?

As Ricky Bobby once said, “I wanna go fast,” but why are we all constantly in a rush to do everything, to grow up, to graduate college, or to finally retire? Our society is centered around the idea of efficiency, making us all succeptible to the fast-paced environment that we live in. Though efficiency may come in handy in various situations, there is no need to constantly always be in a rush.

Taking time and care to complete your obligations, to enjoy your life, and to tackle your obstacles, is an important life skill that should be practiced frequently. After all, our life spans have only lengthened exponentially, or at least this is the case for most of us. Naturally, as a result of our longer life expectancies, most individuals have more time to truly live their lives, therefore, giving us more time to complete our goals, aspirations, or to simply live. Give living life in the right, slow lane a chance.

You do not need to constantly be in the left lane, constantly trying to pass every vehicle in sight. After a while of cruising in the fast lane, you may crash and burn (fingers crossed you do not). While crashing and burning is an inevitable part of life, even when you are living in the slow lane, slowing down aspects of your life can be helpful in order to sort through messes or daily stressors.

Then again, every individual takes life at their own pace – and, that is okay. As a person who frequently enjoys living life in the fast lane and efficiently, I’ve frequently come across the realization that while tackling life at a rapid pace can sometimes serve as a beneficial thing, it can create its’ own handful of problems. I struggle with finding a balance with wanting to do everything all the time, often forgetting to relax and take it easy.  I often take on too many responsibilities, often overwhelming myself, leaving myself little time to think clearly. Sometimes, it even makes it difficult to think rationally, as a million things are running through my mind, while I am simultaneously multi-tasking.

I am constantly reminded that “being fast,” or living fast, does not get you that much further than others. At some point, we will all hit the same red light and be stopped right next to each other on the highway. This leaves me wondering how we all got to the same place, at the same time, when I am moving at what seems like lightning speed.

Some theories I have behind the idealization of a fast-paced life, include, FOMO (fear-of-missing-out), a need to experience everything, excitement for the next big “thing,” competition among our peers, our own insecurities, societal pressures, and simply the unknown. These days, I even find myself in a rush to complete my undergraduate degrees, so I can move on to the next big thing. Of course, efficiency to a certain degree is necessary, especially when you are trying to complete goals, or aspirations. On the other hand, you do not want to end up taking things too slow, as things may never end up getting completed. But, as I stated before, there is no need to constantly be on overdrive.

Think about it – when you are speeding down a highway, or rushing to work, are you truly able to enjoy and soak in all the small, beautiful, synchronistic aspects of your life. A fast-paced life often leaves minimal time to truly enjoy the life you are so blessed to leave. With so many things constantly being tended to, it is only natural that it slips your mind. Sometimes, being on overdrive leads to more worry and clutter in your life than you are even comfortable taking on. Finding a happy medium between moving at the rate of a slug and moving at the rate of race horse is important, especially if you are trying to attain some order within the chaos of our lives.

Remember, it is incredible to be motivated, but there really is no award for completing something first. Take things at the pace in wish you feel comfortable, and while efficiency is applauded, every individual’s life timeline varies. Every once in a while, life will require you to perform on overdrive, however, maintaining a state of overdrive can truly be detrimental and stressful on one’s wellbeing.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

 

Make Plans To Look Forward To

Even when we are caught up in the routines of our daily lives and obligations, it is important for human beings to break our routines and make plans that we can look forward to. Unfortunately, we will not always have the time or the energy to do things that we enjoy 24/7, however, planning and taking time for ourselves to engage in some fun activities help keep us sane.

Constantly working, a lack of funds, a lack of resources, or taking on a full course load may all be factors that may not allow us to do every thing that we constantly wish we were doing. Do not let this stop you from thinking that your life deserves some fun and excitement every once in a while.

Small plans, such as getting drinks at happy hour with your friends, a helpful study session, or grabbing a late-night bite, all play a substantial factor in breaking your daily routines of obligations, such as studying or full-time work. Even making plans months in advance, though it will require some patience, can help you stay motivated and happier living your daily life. Even including a small hike every morning, or taking time out of your day to simply treat yourself to a small shopping trip after work, are all small things you can engage in every once in a while to bring light to your stressful life. Not every plan has to be a huge ordeal, though making travel plans or attending a huge music festival is something that we should all make time for at some point in our lives. The small things count though.

Sometimes, we have no choice but to endure daily routines, but often forget that the small plans or activities we engage in are all important and should be appreciated to the fullest.

Making plans allow us to be excited and to keep things fresh in our lives. And, when we are constantly fufilling our life’s obligations and responsibilities, we can sometimes forget to allow ourselves time to do something fun and exciting.

This month, I challenge you to make some plans and stir up your calendar with fun plans that you can look forward to in your life. Do something for yourself to get yourself excited and motivated! Fun plans can serve as an incentive to work harder and use that to your advantage. Do not let your responsibilities boggle you down and make time with the time that you have! This is very important.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

When Curious George and Dora the Explorer are your secret spirit animals, do not be ashamed. The power of curiosity is incredibly powerful, and help shape the person we are and the experiences we go through.

Curiosity does have its downfalls, however, it should not be looked upon as frowned upon. In order for us to know and understand the world, it is important to be curious. Being curious can get us in trouble from time to time, when it is utilized as a scenarios where it is not necessary. With that said, sometimes ignorance is bliss. So, setting boundaries with your curiosity is something that should be taken into consideration.

On a positive note, curiosity and a willingness to explore the world we live in is mostly seen as a positive personality trait. This curiousness that everyone experiences to a certain level allows us to do so much.

Curiosity allows for a craving to learn, which is always viewed as positive. This kind of learning goes beyond textbooks and what we learn, and may sometimes push us to want to actually experience what is unknown to us. In some aspects, our curiosity makes us more knowledgeable.

Traveling is one way your curiosity can be utilized positively. Often, individuals find themselves utilizing their curiosity to learn about the cultures of other nations, explore different parts of the regions, leading to a higher level of cultural awareness. It almost is one of the most motivating factors that dictate our decision-making process.

Among many things, curiosity is something that we all universally feel as human beings and makes us all united. What you are curious about is unique to everyone, but how we go about our curiosity is what sets us apart. However, curiosity is motivating and a beautiful thing.

I, myself, am a very curious person. I truly experience curiosity on a daily basis, as I am always trying to learn and experience everything that I can possible. My curiosity has helped me expand my learning beyond what I am taught in school, and has become one of the most motivating traits that I have attained.

Though society does not highlight the importance of the quality of curiosity, it is something that should be celebrated frequently. As it seems, society has undermined curiosity and placed limitations on the idea of curiosity. The reason is yet not quite understood, as we should all be able to explore our curiosity. If it were at all possible, every one in our entire worldwide community would have access and the ability to explore their curiosity. Though society has placed limitations on this quality, do not let it stop you from attempting to fully embrace that side of you.

Being curious shows a willingness to learn and expand your horizons – these are both positive qualities.

Let your curiosity take over your mind.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade

 

Starting Fresh

Sometimes, you just need to rip the bandaid off and just accept your life circumstances, whatever they may be. Sometimes, this requires eating the biggest slice of humble pie, and other times it requires you to indulge in the biggest slice of real pie. However, you cope with it, sometimes you need to “start fresh.”

How can you “start fresh” when you are still exactly where you were two minutes ago, questioning your life, you may ask. My response is by letting go, releasing some tension, realizing your reality, and by having a good, positive attitude about it.

I am ripping my bandaid off really quickly, and starting fresh and having a better outlook on my current life circumstances. I am also letting go, or working on letting go of some old demons, and doing some personal cleansing myself. I have an even lighter perspective on life, as I realize I cannot change many circumstances that life has handed me recently.

Sometimes, you need to be beat down for a little bit to pick up your game – NOT LITERALLY OF COURSE. Life has it’s ways of showing you it still cares for you, through small daily reminders you may not catch. But, sometimes it showers a little harder than you anticipated.

Sometimes, I wish I could change the weather to match my mood and excitement, and recently, I figured out that I could not do that. I forget sometimes that Spring should be full of rain and downpours, literally and figuratively. I honestly wish I could change a lot about my life sometimes, but then I realize that a time machine is impossible and realize that our experiences make us learn special, individualistic things, unique to each and every one of us.

So, coming to terms with things can be difficult at times, and may make you hesitate at the thought of giving life your all. That is okay. Similarly, coming to terms with your current reality is something that may take months, years, even centuries. And, that also is okay. We all take as much time as we need and go through the motions of acceptance at different paces. Some of us linger, some of us do not linger. In addition to accepting life, we also need to take it on with a good attitude. All these steps amount to a sudden realization that your reality is your reality, in addition to, having a profound interest in wanting to make things better for yourself.

Sometimes, we lose track of our happiness amidst all of our problems. And, we forget to kick life in it’s ass. Sometime,s we all even need a shakedown in order to achieve this new, positive way of thinking.

Having a brand new attitude about your current, stable reality will bring a whole new light to your life, and allow you to think beyond your comfort zone. I promise you will start feel like a brand new person, and like your whole world is your oyster. It is a great feeling. Starting fresh with a new attitude, a rested mind, clear head, and a positive attitude is an awesome way to start every day. So, why not make that possible for yourself? Do not let yourself be held back from life’s beauty and its’ endless opportunities.

Whenever you come across this post, I invite you to take a minute to rip that band aid off, start fresh, and begin with a new attitude. You will feel like the best version of yourself. You become more willing to take risks and are able to look beyond your circumstances and problems, some of which are easily fixed. Similarly, you will want to make the initiative to make things better, or to bring more change into your life. These are at least my hopes.

If you can handle even most of the most heartbreaking experiences with a smile left on your face and a clear, healthy perspective, you have already won the game of life. Some days it may not be easy to accept your life, and some days you may feel stuck. Do not let yourself get stuck, by giving life your all even on the days where it is hard to leave your bed. You better start believing that a whole new attitude and a simple perspective change will lead to eternal glory and happiness. You will not regret it.

Leave that old attitude behind, and join me in starting fresh.

xo,

Aichan Tewahade